did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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