My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
