bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
