I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
