It's Friday. Sex?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
