Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
