You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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