3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ugly people sure do ruin things
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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