Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
