no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
