there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
