Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
