OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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