Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
