Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
