omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
