Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think your dad took our porno
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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