He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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