so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
