he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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