walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
