A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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