just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
