if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am puke
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
