using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
