So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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