you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
