Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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