singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
