So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
