I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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