I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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