You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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