did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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