You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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