dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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