did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
