how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize