I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
