I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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