dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
