She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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