I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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