Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
