WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm too high and old for this...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
