i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
