What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
