I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
