So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
