he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can't turn off my feet"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
send nudes
from the living room?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize