White coat. Heels.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
