Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
