Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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