Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
