I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
