did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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